Relationships can get into trouble for a variety of reasons, but one of the most common is difficulties in the sexual part when you may have difficult in getting or maintaining an erection. It’s best to start with the good news that, if your relationship is strong, you will survive this trial without difficulty. But if your relationship is already in some difficulty, you will need to act positively to keep the relationship alive.
So, to start off this advice, think about the following questions.
- Do you still love each other?
- Do you still enjoy your life together? (not the same question)
- What do you both want out of the relationship?
- Are you prepared to spend time and energy to make your relationship work again?
In other words, this advice is only relevant if you have the will to save the relationship. Where should you start?
Stop looking to blame each other
One of the first symptoms of a failing relationships is the habit of looking for fault in the other when things go wrong. Arguing is not helping. Both of you should be prepared to take responsibility for what happens in the relationship and look for the best way forward. That means you should make time to work on your relationship. Talking honestly and constructively is the first step.
Even this may be a struggle if you both have jobs which take up a lot of your time and the children, if any, are demanding. But if you are agreed the relationship is worth saving, you will make sacrifices and find time to talk. This is not a guarantee of success, but it’s the only way of saving the relationship.
Change the way you talk to each other
If you take each other for granted and are not talking with, but to or at, each other, this will just lead to more bad feelings. The second step is showing each other a little respect and making the effort to show appreciation for what the other is doing around the home. If your attitude comes over as selfish or aggressive, the last of the romance will disappear from the relationship.
Make an effort for each other
When you first began to date, you probable made an effort with your appearance and were on your “best behavior”. Making an effort now there are difficulties shows a willingness to recapture the initial spark that brought you together.
Go out for an evening
Some shared activity with just the two of you at least one evening a week will help you reconnect. This can be a challenge if you have children but, if it helps save the relationship, it’s worth the effort. Alternatively, socialize as a couple. Get together with friends, have a laugh, and remind yourself how much fun you had when you were younger.
Is there something you can do together?
Do you have a sport or hobby you can develop together, say by joining a club or going for tuition, e.g. learning how to cook to reduce friction in the kitchen?
If all else fails and you are determined to save the relationship, call in the professionals for a little therapy. And what about the sex? Well that’s never going to be much of a success if you fail to spend time making the rest of the relationship work.